I'm writing this from the beach. Yes, it's Saturday night, I'm at the beach, and I'm making a blog post.
Hold up; it gets better.
I was watching the Ron Paul Revolution on C-Span 2 before I opened my laptop. Not even C-Span 1. (For what it's worth, I've since switched to King of the Hill and am debating a movie after I finish this.)
Anyway, I've known I was going to be coming on this trip for about a year, but two weeks ago, I decided it was the perfect time to try to get into some kind of shape for the beach. Because, you know, two weeks is plenty of time. My go-to when I need to lose some weight quick is sort of like Phase One of the Atkins or South Beach Diets - nothing but meat, cheese, nuts and green veggies.
I started exactly two weeks ago by eating roast and green beans for like every meal, and over the next couple of days, I had grilled chickens, salads, celery and a pretty well-balanced diet. By about Tuesday, I was miserable, but no pain no gain or whatever.
And by Wednesday, I decided Chick-fil-A nuggets are totally low-carb, I mean, compared to like bread or something right?
So, for the rest of the week, I had Chick-fil-A nuggets every single day. And that's fried, not those nifty new grilled ones, by the way.
This lasted for nine days instead of the fourteen I had planned, but honestly, that's probably longer than I've ever stuck to any other diet in my life, and I did actually see some results. Hey Chick-fil-A, I could totally be your Valerie Bertinelli.
Anyway, as I stated, I'm at the beach now with several family members and their significant others. (My gay cousin and I are the only single ones here we realized when we walked out on a moonlit beach tonight and decided it would be a lot better if he was walking with this young Hispanic guy we saw walking with his parents and I was walking with this guy who was out playing his huge, adorable Black Lab. But I digress.)
The house we're staying in is amazing. The huge, private backyard with every amenity you can think of is the selling point, and my bedroom with the amazing view leads right out to it. Granted my cousin's adorable 20-year-old girlfriend, who's staying in the next room, keeps slipping through my room in her bikini and reminding me that a bikini body doth not nine days of chicken nuggets make, but eh, I like my chicken nuggets dammit. And besides, now that I'm officially "in my 30's," *shudder* it's all downhill from here anyway unless you're like Jennifer Lopez or something.
Plus, I'm still nursing a knee injury, so even if I were in great bathing suit shape, the fact that I hobble down the stairs that lead from the pool to the beach like a geriatric patient is enough to scare off cute beach guys with big Black Labs anyway.
Here are a couple of pictures if you're interested. I'll post more another day.
This is the view from my bedroom. The ocean is not quite as far as it looks. Also, the black thing is a bug.
And here's the pool. My pool at home is nicer, but the atmosphere around this one trumps everything else. Also, those steps that go over it lead right to my bedroom and balcony. Unless you're a creepy stalker, then those steps lead right up to my cousin's huge husband's bedroom.
Hold up; it gets better.
I was watching the Ron Paul Revolution on C-Span 2 before I opened my laptop. Not even C-Span 1. (For what it's worth, I've since switched to King of the Hill and am debating a movie after I finish this.)
Anyway, I've known I was going to be coming on this trip for about a year, but two weeks ago, I decided it was the perfect time to try to get into some kind of shape for the beach. Because, you know, two weeks is plenty of time. My go-to when I need to lose some weight quick is sort of like Phase One of the Atkins or South Beach Diets - nothing but meat, cheese, nuts and green veggies.
I started exactly two weeks ago by eating roast and green beans for like every meal, and over the next couple of days, I had grilled chickens, salads, celery and a pretty well-balanced diet. By about Tuesday, I was miserable, but no pain no gain or whatever.
And by Wednesday, I decided Chick-fil-A nuggets are totally low-carb, I mean, compared to like bread or something right?
So, for the rest of the week, I had Chick-fil-A nuggets every single day. And that's fried, not those nifty new grilled ones, by the way.
This lasted for nine days instead of the fourteen I had planned, but honestly, that's probably longer than I've ever stuck to any other diet in my life, and I did actually see some results. Hey Chick-fil-A, I could totally be your Valerie Bertinelli.
Anyway, as I stated, I'm at the beach now with several family members and their significant others. (My gay cousin and I are the only single ones here we realized when we walked out on a moonlit beach tonight and decided it would be a lot better if he was walking with this young Hispanic guy we saw walking with his parents and I was walking with this guy who was out playing his huge, adorable Black Lab. But I digress.)
The house we're staying in is amazing. The huge, private backyard with every amenity you can think of is the selling point, and my bedroom with the amazing view leads right out to it. Granted my cousin's adorable 20-year-old girlfriend, who's staying in the next room, keeps slipping through my room in her bikini and reminding me that a bikini body doth not nine days of chicken nuggets make, but eh, I like my chicken nuggets dammit. And besides, now that I'm officially "in my 30's," *shudder* it's all downhill from here anyway unless you're like Jennifer Lopez or something.
Plus, I'm still nursing a knee injury, so even if I were in great bathing suit shape, the fact that I hobble down the stairs that lead from the pool to the beach like a geriatric patient is enough to scare off cute beach guys with big Black Labs anyway.
Here are a couple of pictures if you're interested. I'll post more another day.
This is the view from my bedroom. The ocean is not quite as far as it looks. Also, the black thing is a bug.
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