A new look for the blog?

It's been a while since I updated my blog design, but I'm think I'm tired of the red, white and blue thing. (Hey, it was an election year when I did this.) The thing is, I remember how long it took me to do this manually, and I'm not sure if I want to put that much effort into it at this point. I'm also not sure if these many years later it requires that much effort.

I've been trying to update more lately, but it's not the priority it once was (you know, when people read it and commented and stuff and I couldn't just say what I wanted to say on Twitter).

So, if anyone's out there and you notice things starting to change in the near future, don't be scared! To quote the great philosopher Sheryl Crow, "A change will do you good."

Best of 2011: Cedar Rapids & Ed Helms

"The whole place smells like chlorine; it's like I'm in Barbados or somewhere." - Tim Lippe

After doing my "best of 2011" music post, I decided I might have better luck with movies. I wanted to make a top ten list, but I was drawing a blank. Sadly, the only movie I saw in a theater this year was The Hangover Part II. Don't get me wrong, it was funny, but the the only reason I saw it in a theater is because I was waiting for check-in time at my hotel in Charleston. It's been a busy year. I saw lots of stuff on DVD this fall, but many of the year's movies aren't even out yet, so I don't feel like I could properly make a "best of" list. Instead, I decided to do what I did with music and just pick the film that had the greatest impression on me.

So, I chose Cedar Rapids. Was this the best movie of 2011? Probably not. However, I think it was the most under-appreciated movie of the year. But let's back up.

In January, I was really excited to see that Cedar Rapids would be at the Sundance Film Festival for a few reasons. Yes, as any idiot in the free world knows, I'm a big Ed Helms fan, but I'd read about this movie last summer, and I thought it looked interesting. There are so many movies labeled as comedies these days that just aren't funny - either 30 minutes into them you're so bored you find yourself playing with your iPhone or the jokes are so unoriginal you realize you've already seen this movie 18,000 times before and you find yourself playing with your iPhone.

From what I could gather from articles and early reviews, Cedar Rapids had an original storyline. It had a great cast of actors playing unique characters. It wasn't pretentious or too over-the-top. It didn't recycle the same old jokes. I read/watched several interviews with Helms and the director, Miguel Arteta, and it just sounded like fun. A few things I read said that it poked fun at the Midwest, but I didn't get that vibe at all. I really wanted it to be good and do well.

It was June before I finally got to see Cedar Rapids, and it didn't disappoint. It wasn't completely what I expected, but it did live up to many of my expectations. While the movie is most definitely a comedy, the main character, Tim Lippe, ends up being a guy you want to laugh with, not at. He's very naive, but again, I didn't see this as poking fun at people from small towns. Seriously, if you got that from this movie, you need to step away from the "No Spin Zone" or something.

But I think the best part of it was seeing Helms play a different kind of role. I've had a hard time explaining this to people who have asked me about it, because you can't really say this is a "serious" role and that's how it usually comes across when I describe it, but it's different than anything we've ever see him in him to date. It proved that he's got some major talent as an actor and not just a funny guy. And that's not to say I didn't already think that, but this role took it to a whole new level. (Don't get me wrong, he was funny too; this just went a little deeper, I'd say.)

After watching Cedar Rapids, I'm really excited to see what else Helms does in the future. As I mentioned before, I think he's a rarity in an entertainment industry plagued with cheap laughs these days. (I also think neighborhood kids should stay off my lawn.) And I'd like to see more original comedies like this from the talented folks in the film industry.

I know I suck at movie reviews, but I encourage anyone who's interested to see Cedar Rapids. It's good stuff.

Adventures in Sarahland

I couldn't let 2011 end without doing something else completely and utterly stupid could I? Here's a quick story to prove that life with me is always, well, it's never dull.

So, my mom goes to this eye doctor that's in another county, about 45 min from our houses without traffic, and traffic between here and there in the morning is usually pretty awful. After having eye surgery in October, she had a follow-up appointment today, and I got up at the crack of dawn to go pick her up and have her there by 8:30.

I don't enjoy going inside this particular office, so unless she's having something major done, I've started sitting in the car and reading or playing with my phone or napping, mostly napping. This also means I don't exactly dress appropriately for going inside, which, as I learned today, is a big mistake. My outfit was actuallly suitable for public (usually, I wear pajamas), but I was wearing flip-flops, and it was about 34 degrees.

So, it's dark when we leave, and of course, I had my lights on. Once we were on our way and the sun started making its way over the horizon, I started to turn the lights off, but for some reason, I didn't.

Here's the thing: I bought my car brand new several years ago, and since about the day after I bought it, the little bell that alerts you that you've left your lights on hasn't worked. I've never gotten it fixed, and it's led to quite a bit of heartache. I've found myself stranded in parking decks in downtown Atlanta at 3 a.m., stranded in parking lots of various places of employment, and unable to leave the driveways of various family members and friends at random times. As a matter of fact, just a few months ago, after a particularly long appointment, my mom and I sat in that very office parking lot for a good two hours waiting on my little cousin to drive up and jump us off.

So, today, we got there early, around 8 a.m., and my mom went in early, hoping she'd get out quickly. I sat in the car and watched some young men cut grass, played with my phone, and tried to take a nap since I'd only managed about three hours of sleep. As the minutes and eventually hours, passed, I began wondering what was taking so long when a little noise interrupted my thoughts. It sounded like something in the car had died. I didn't think much of of it at first, but then I looked down and noticed that the lights were still turned on and had been since we got there. Never mind the fact, that I'd been intermittently listening to the radio and running the heat, as well.

The battery. I wanted to cry.

I tried some little tricks I've read about to give the battery a boost but no such luck. I called my cousins, all of whom were working. I tried to think of who I knew who lived in the area that wouldn't be at work. Just about then, my dad called. I explained to him what happened and practically begged him to come, but he couldn't... something about his boss not being there and filling in and not being able to leave. He told me to call my grandfather, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. He's 86 and while he's in pretty good shape, I just didn't want to have him drive for an hour just to fix my mistake. Plus, I was parked between two cars that obviously weren't going anywhere anytime soon, so jumper cables were probably out of the question.

I believe for the 100th time in the last five or so years, my dad also cursed me for being single, but that's a story for another day...

So, I finally gathered up my little hobo-looking self, flip-flops and all, and walked into the office. I asked the receptionist if she knew of anyone there who could help and she called the office manager over. Another lady mentioned that she had jumper cables and would be glad to help, but the office manager told her no, that she couldn't, and then she made a somewhat snide comment about how I should try AAA or something.

I went back to the car and Googled some roadside service places, but no one answered their phones on this lovely morning. I waited for my mom to call for me to come pick her up at the door. I was bracing myself for her to yell and scream about how irresponsible I am and how she can't believe this is the second time I've done this in the last few months in the same parking lot that's nearly an hour away from our houses.

But before any of that could happen, I looked up and saw an AutoZone up the street. From my work in South Carolina, I knew they offered some battery-related services, not necessarily the one I needed but still... And I mean, sure, I was not at their store, but I was just up the street. Maybe some kind dude could just come drive down out of the goodness of his heart? (I know nothing about cars and car places, so this all seemed logical to me.)

I called and the guy who answered barely spoke English, but I told him what I needed and he said, "Sorry, we don't do that" (or at least I think that's what he said - he could have just as well been screaming "Allahu Akbar") (I kid, I kid, calm down, people). I started to thank him and hang up, but he told me to hold on, and when he came back to the phone, he started giving me a phone number. I wrote it down, but I'm not sure he actually told me what the number was for. I Googled it and no business names came up, but desperate times and all...

So, I called the number and realized it was a towing service, and of course, no one answered. I hung up and decided to wait for my mom. She has better contacts and more common sense than I do when it comes to issues such as this anyway. I was just about to drift off to sleep when towing company guy calls me back. He tells me he'll charge me $45 to come fix my little problem and promised that he was just 15 minutes away. I hesitated to pay but decided it was worth it.

About half an hour later, I was standing by my car, barely able to feel my toes, listening to a lecture on battery life, and cursing myself for not wearing real shoes. Just as soon as I wrote the guy a check, my mom called and said she was at the door, waiting for me to come get her. Perfect timing. If I wanted, she could have stayed in the dark about this little incident. And part of me wanted, believe me, but I've never really been able to lie to her about things. Plus, my dad would have told her anyway.

When she got in the car, she said, "I didn't think the doctor was ever going to show up; I can't believe it took that long!" Then she looked at me and asked, "Did you get to take a nap? I guess you had plenty of time?"

I just sighed and handed her the receipt.

She still yelled at me, but I was pretty proud of myself for handling it on my own, without the help of any family members. Sure, I'm 30, but me and cars don't mix very well (if you've read my blog for any length of time you'll know this). I kind of felt like a grown-up!

Small Bank vs. Big...Phone?

I've been an AT&T customer for about half a decade now. We've had our highs and lows, but this last week was the lowest of the low.

Now, before I tell this story, let me just say that this is not some kind of loony "Occupy telecommunications company" story or anti-capitalism rant. I love capitalism. And the only things I occupy are my house (where I pay the rent) and my car (that I own because I paid for it...with a little help from my grandfather).

So, first, long story short: I had my monthly phone payment set up to come out of my checking account on a certain day. Not long after I set up this arrangement, I realized I set it up for the wrong date. I'd made the decision without consulting a calendar, so I called and asked if they could switch the days. They said it was fine, even talked me into switching from Comcast to their cable/internet, and I thought everything was great.

Until last weekend.

I got an email confirmation on the date of the original arrangement letting me know that the payment had been successfully taken from my checking account. My checking account that doesn't have a ton of money in it (hey, it was just a few days before Christmas!) and already had a few other pending payments that would be coming out later that week. On Monday morning, I called the bank, and the super nice lady I spoke to told me that she could return the payment, but that they'd probably try it at least twice more, each time costing me $32. Not only that, but because the $32 payments would be taking up what little money I did have in the account to cover other stuff, all of that would bounce and cost me $32 more for each thing. I was looking at paying several hundred dollars for this little error.

So, I called AT&T. They put me through to some lady who had the intelligence of a...I don't know, a goat? Are goats dumb? I tried to explain the situation, but she couldn't seem to understand what happened. She assured me that the payment wouldn't go through again because I had stopped it, but I told her I didn't "stop it;" the bank just returned it. I asked her what the next step would be on their end to handle this error that was their fault. And she said she was sorry, but there was nothing she could do, that it was just too bad.

I was livid at her lackadaisical attitude more than anything. A decent apology would have been nice.

So, I called my bank again. Let me take the time to tell you that the bank I'm with has four branches. My family went to church with the bank's president, and when I drive up, the tellers know my name. They even let me get into my parents' account when they ask me to do do something for them. I've banked with the biggest of the banks, particularly when I used to travel more and lived in a different town, but I switched back to these guys a few years ago, and I've yet to regret it. Everyone there has been unbelievably kind, and they've never resorted to misleading or complicated policies.

The lady at my bank confirmed that the lady at AT&T was wrong, that she hadn't stopped the payment, and that it would go through a few more times, causing my account to overdraft each time. So, I called AT&T back and told the person who answered this time (she seemed somewhat competent) to NOT transfer me to the other department. I explained to her the situation, she looked it over and agreed with me that they had royally messed up, and she vowed to see to it that it was fixed. After nearly an hour on the phone, I was feeling pretty good about this lady. She had it all straightened out. She told me they'd refund the overdraft fees to my checking account (within so many business days and after I faxed proof, but whatevs), and I was just about to hang up the phone when I happily asked, just to be sure, "So, you did manage to stop it from going through my account two more times?"

"Oh, no, no, that I couldn't do. You'll have to stop the payment."

"Seriously? You put me through all that only to tell me you didn't really fix the problem?"

She apologized and told me, essentially, that the company is so big, she has no way of contacting whomever does the payments and stopping it. Once it goes through, it's through. She doesn't even know if this happens in the same building or even the same city as she's in! I told her I'd be stopping the payment as soon as we got off the phone, she noted that, apologized again, I thanked her because for what it's worth, she had been pleasant - even in the end when I turned into bitch Sarah, and that was that.

I called my bank back and asked them what I had to do to stop payment. The lady told me it'd be another $32, and I'd have to come sign something. In case you're counting, this was going to cost me a boatload of $32. I sighed, made a comment like "there goes my Christmas shopping, and told her I'd be up there later in the day to sign the paper. She was very apologetic, but then she asked if she could call me back.

A few minutes later, she did call me back, and she sounded really excited. "I talked to my boss, and she's agreed to waive the overdraft fees."

"Seriously? Thank you so much, so I just need to pay the $32 to stop the payment?"

"No, you don't even have to pay that. Since it's Christmas and this was so not your fault, we're going to let it all go, but you still have to come sign the paperwork."

I didn't know what to say. In this day and age, how many companies, particularly banks, would be so willing to waive several fees out of the goodness of their hearts? I went in to sign the paperwork and the receptionist must have thought I was nuts, because I was singing their whole department's praises and talking about how they saved my Christmas.

So, I assumed this little episode was behind me.

Friday, two days before Christmas, I'm out running around, doing some last minute shopping, and I kept trying to get online to double check the ingredients I needed for a recipe, but my signal wasn't coming through. As an AT&T customer, this is something I'm beyond used to, but after going through two counties without a signal, I tried to make a call. I got a message that my service had been disconnected.

Yeah.

I rushed to my parents house, cursing everyone who has ever worked for that entire company and grabbed my dad's cell phone so I could call. Very calmly, I told the woman that my phone had been disconnected and that I wasn't even supposed to make the payment until two days after Christmas. Very stupidly, she told me that my phone had been disconnected because I stopped the last payment. Again, trying to be friendly, I told her to keep reading the notes on my account, because this was all their mess. Finally, she figured it out and told me and I quote, "Well, you should have told someone you were stopping the payment."

Holy crap. I DID! Not only did I tell someone, but someone else even swore up and down that I did when I hadn't yet. When I told her this, she just said, "oh" in such a way that you could tell she was annoyed, but she finally went on to tell me she'd restore the service and waive the reconnection fee...as if she were doing me some huge favor.

So, finally, today is the day that I was to pay my bill, and I just logged in to make a payment online. I put in all the info, and it says there is a problem with my checking account. I called and tried to pay over the phone, but again, it says there is a problem with my checking account. I assume it has something to do with the stopped payment, and I'll have to deal with that tomorrow as customer service is closed for the day, but...

Look, I have no problem with large companies and corporations. I think they're great for the most part. But they're only as great as they aspire to be. Some are wonderful; some are not. AT&T has a monopoly on phone service, so they don't have to do better. In my opinion, they aren't so much too big to provide decent services, decent customer service, etc., but they don't really have to because there is very little competition. Hell, they tried to buy up most of of that competition just this month.

On the other hand, you've got my bank, a small business, that offers phenomenal personalized customer service. They survived a economy that many small and large banks didn't. As far as I know, they didn't do with the help of the government. Anytime one of the big banks start charging a ridiculous new fee, my bank is quick to prove that they don't and won't do the same. They know how to do business.

Somewhere in here is my argument against bailouts and stimulus packages. Competition drives this country, and sadly, many people are losing sight of that. Little kids aren't even allowed to win ballgames anymore! If a large company can't handle itself despite a few bumps in the road, it should not be rewarded. It should be allowed to fail. Inevitably, smaller businesses will pop up, and they'll compete for each other's customers, and things will be swell again.

Finally, I'm a big buy local type of girl, and I try to do that whenever possible. I try to promote small businesses that have offered me great service or competitive prices. Small business owners know how hard it is to earn a dollar, and most of them will work to make that happen. But that's my choice. I'm glad I live in a country where I do have choices - I can go with the big, national company or the small, local business. I like that they're all allowed to thrive based on their own merits...or they used to be. God help us all if that continues to change.

I know this isn't my best argument, but I'm exhausted.

Update 12/29/11: The other night I took to Twitter to complain about AT&T and one of their social media team members contacted me. She ended up calling me yesterday afternoon, and she couldn't have been nicer. She made a point to figure out everything that went wrong and fix it. She understood (I think) everything I'd gone through, acknowledged that it was their fault, told me I wouldn't be penalized, told me she was in management and assured me that the people who'd "helped" me previously were being dealt with or something along those lines (I know lots of folks throw that line at you, so take it with a grain of salt). She was extremely nice and knowledgeable and knew what she was doing. And if I could remember her name, I'd send her boss a nice letter. But the problem has been resolved and my bill has been paid, and I'm happy to report that AT&T has at least one decent employee.

Though you can bet I'm backing out of that whole cable/internet deal. I can only take so much.

Best of 2011: Oh My Heart

All of my friends seem to be making "Best of 2011" music posts, and so I was thinking I should do that.

And then I sat out to make my list, and I could only come up with a few songs. Honestly, the stuff on the radio - the Lady Gaga and the Katy Perry - that's just not my cup of tea. At all. And I spent way too much time driving back and forth between South Carolina, writing a book, and interviewing folks this year to get into anything that wasn't on the radio. I spent a lot of time listening to some stuff from 2010 - Mumford and Sons probably being my favorite, and I spent a lot of time listening to bluegrass for research while writing my book.

However, the most memorable musical moment for me this year wasn't an actual song; it was the news that one of my favorite bands, a band that I literally grew up with (their first single came out the year I was born), was breaking up: R.E.M. - Those four fine gentlemen from Athens who have more or less written and performed my life's soundtrack. I remember my dad listening to them when I was a kid, and when I was old enough to start buying my own music, I owned almost all of their albums. I'm proud to say I even went to the college where these guys originated. One of my biggest regrets will always be that I never saw them live, but hopefully, one day there will be a reunion tour or something.

Earlier this year, when they announced that they were splitting, many people said, "Who cares?" Those people are either too into Bruno Mars (can't someone put that out of its misery?) for their own good or they fall into the snobbish "I only like REM's earlier work" category. I'll admit, I prefer their older stuff much of the time, but I always loved to hear new music from those guys, and regardless, they just seemed like a staple in my life that would always be there, good music, bad music, and everything in between.

Anyway, this year, they put out their final album: Collapse Into Now. I'm ashamed to admit, I've only heard a few songs from it, but this fall, I was watching a UGA football game and I saw a commercial for the school that we all know I love so much. And I heard Michael Stipe singing. And my heart just melted. Long story short, that song was "Oh My Heart" from Collapse Into Now. It is amazing! I won't go on and on about it, but without a doubt, it's my favorite song of the year.




Speaking of Michael Stipe... this is cheesy, but it's definitely another one of my favorite music moments of 2011. I'm a big fan of the Colbert Report, and when I saw Michael Stipe on the show last month, I was thrilled. (And besides, there was just something adorable about Stipe sitting on a shelf.) Anyway, Colbert, Stipe, and Brian Eno went on to sing "Lean on Me." I'm not sure why, but I loved it! Here's that as a little bonus:

The Colbert Report
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Dear Tim Tebow Haters (and Fans)

It pains me to write this. It pains me to give Tim Tebow any attention at all.

But the people who hate him because of his religious beliefs pain me even more, so I must waste what I estimate will be an hour of my Monday night defending this jackass. I hope you're happy, you miserable freaks.

A month or two ago, a friend of mine forwarded me a link about Tim Tebow. I can't remember the exact details, but it got into people hating him because he's a Christian. I skimmed over it and wrote her back and essentially told her it was ridiculous.

Because in my little head, in my little world, it was ridiculous.

Don't get me wrong; I've spent the past...five? six? years hating Tim Tebow. Oh, I've hated him with the passion I usually reserve for Maureen Dowd.

But I hated him because when he played for Florida, he beat my beloved Bulldogs. I hated him because I could be watching a freaking LSU vs. Ole Miss game and Vern Lundquist would find some way to relate every single thing that happened on and off that field to Tim Tebow. I hated him because when Florida won, whomever was calling the game would always say "Tim Tebow wins the game," as if there were never any other guys on that field. I hated him because his rabid fans felt he could do no wrong and would go out of their way to tell you that at any given moment.

For example:


Random Regular Person: "Did you get that job you interviewed for?"

Random Tebow Fan: "OMG, did you know Tim Tebow was the first sophomore to win the Heisman Trophy? He's like the best quarterback ever!"

Random Regular Person: "Um...OK?"

I hated him because he makes out with his teammates and his coach on the field, and because he cried when he lost and haughtily directed the Gator Marching Band after they beat Georgia and because you couldn't get through a football weekend for a few years without hearing and seeing him everywhere like he was the only blasted person who'd ever played football ever in our lifetimes. I mean, the man's got his own freaking verb now. (Google "tebowing" if you don't believe me.)

And that's why almost everyone else I knew hated him. We jokingly called him "Baby Jesus," because of his ability to do no wrong in the eyes of some folks, and yes, we poked fun at his being very open about his religion, but it wasn't because we couldn't stand his faith. It was because his fans and the college sports media had turned him into their own little messiah. Hating Tim Tebow was an entertaining pasttime for many people. Because of football.

Most of my fellow Tebow haters were Georgia fans or fans of other SEC teams. Most of us are Christians ourselves. Most of us think God and football are the two greatest things in the world. So, naturally, when Tebow played our teams, and no matter what, we were forced to hear about how fabulous he was, we hated him. It's part of the sport. You know, those games people play where they get all competitive and work hard and win. Remember when people were allowed to win in this country?

It doesn't mean that we'd pull a gun on the dude if we bumped into him in the produce section at Publix or something like that. It simply meant that on every Saturday in the months of September, October, and November, we were going to make fun of that idiot until we were Florida blue in the face. And maybe on some other days too.

So, after my discussion with the friend who sent me the link (who, by the way, lives in California by way of New York), I decided to do a little research. I assumed she was just unaware of our little SEC culture.

Boy, was I surprised. Ol' Tebow is in the NFL now, and while the hoopla hasn't been quite as bad, at least not in my world (I mean, who cares about the Broncos?), it has really picked up in recent weeks following the man's success on the field.

People are complaining because he prays and is openly religious on the field. They can't stand it. They say there is no place for it in the NFL. They rail against him because he's not ashamed to be who he is. As one who is a big fan of personal freedom, naturally, this annoys me.

1) I often find people who criticize others for their religious beliefs only do so because they have some kind of issue with their own beliefs or lack thereof. I don't care if you're a Christian, a Muslim, or an atheist, just so long as you as you let others be and keep out of the business of trying to tell people how to live their lives. I mean, in what way is it harming you that a man likes to pray on the football field? Is your life so empty that you have to go around being the religion police for other people?

2) The NFL is a private organization that has the right to create its own rules. When I see someone say "how can the NFL let Tebow be so open about his religion" I just have to laugh and say go read the U.S. Constitution. People seem to think they should get everything they want these days, so much that they do not seem to realize that there is a difference between, say, the NFL and a public elementary school. Until Roger Goodell announces a ban of prayer on the field, and let's face it, that most likely won't happen ever if the NFL knows what's good for it, you entitled little jerks can go back to looking for copies of the Ten Commandments in courthouses across the US and decorating your winter solstice trees.

3) Let's take a look at some others in the NFL. You've got countless convicted criminals. You've got guys accused of murder and rape. You've got womanizers and guys with nine plus kids by nine plus women. You've got drug addicts. You've got guys who are unbelievably disrespectful to fans, the people who ultimately pay their salaries. You've guys that can't form complete sentences. You've got Michael freakin' Vick for goodness sake. And the worst thing you've got to complain about is a guy who prays?? This is the guy you don't want your kids to see? I mean, really?

Now if you want to make fun of Tim Tebow, by all means go ahead. I was just reading this article by Todd Starnes, and he gets on to another player for mocking Tebow on the field. I don't have a problem with that. All's fair in love and football. Is it tasteless? Probably, but that's not my call. I've seen worse.

As a matter of fact, the other day, my dad and I were talking about our fantasy football teams, and he mentioned needing a quarterback. I jokingly told him he should trade for Tebow, and he said "Only if we get points for prayers instead of touchdowns."

We laughed. My dad the self-describe agnostic and me the Christian. We laughed and then we moved on and made fun of some other player for his hair or something.

It's fun to make fun of the competition, but it's not right to tell someone they can't believe what they want and pray when they want. That's what they do in countries like Iran and North Korea. If you're into that sort of thing, I'm pretty sure we can make arrangements for you to relocate.

At the end of the day, and while it goes against everything I stand for to say this, Tim Tebow is probably a nice guy. He's good-looking. He's a pretty good football player. But I can't stand him. And I can't respectfully hate him now thanks to a bunch of imbeciles who probably don't even watch football because "it's too violent" or whatever.

But I'm not going to do what many have done and hold him on a pedestal because he's a Christian either. (Isn't there something in the Bible about worshiping false idols and such?) I know many good Christians who aren't football players, and I don't treat them any differently because of their beliefs. I know good people who aren't Christians, and I don't treat them any differently. And I don't know Tebow personally, I don't know what he does in his downtime, so I won't deem him a "hero" like many have. But I will not stand by and watch people attack someone's personal freedom simply because it bothers them.

If that's the biggest bother you have in life, then I think you need to be paying more attention to yourself and less attention to Tim Tebow.

OK, now that I got that out of the way, let me just post this to make up for it:


See, now that's funny. Hearing a bunch of self-entitled crybabies whine about how offended they are that a man believes in God, not so funny. And pretty damn annoying, especially when one is just trying to enjoy a football game.

How Many Days Til Christmas?!?

Today, I realized that there are only 18 days until Christmas. Oy.

Every year, I get these great ideas. This year's ideas included a trip to Charleston and putting up a real tree (instead of the fake hand-me-down I get from my parents). At this point, putting up a tree at all seems like a waste of time and money. Still not sure if Charleston is going to happen. The whole losing my main source of income thing, along with two weeks of being immobile, has really put a damper on a lot of my plans.

And I know, I know. That's not what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown, but I love the cheesy festiveness of this time of year. I can't help it.

A big part of me is ready to just get through it and look ahead to next year, but then I realized I've had that attitude for the last few years. Earlier today, I was talking to my mom, and I told her Christmas is probably just not going to be fun until I have a family of my own.

But I'm ready to apply to go back to UGA and work on getting my book sold or getting an agent and all that good stuff. I'm ready to take my writing career to the next level, and a little part of me is considering looking into adoption again. I've had so many signs pointing me in that direction lately, even though I decided I wanted to wait and see what happens over the next few years with my life. I'll just have to see. If there's anything I've learned, it's that nothing is set in stone, even if you say it is.

So, as much as I hate it, I don't see myself going all out for Christmas this year. I'm going to help my mom put up her tree this weekend, and I'm still hoping to make that trip to Charleston, but otherwise, I think it's going to be a quiet Christmas at my house, and I think I'm OK with that.

P.S. I was planning to make a post called 10 reasons not to vote for Newt Gingrich, and I had my reasons put together weeks ago, during said stint of immobility. But since then, many great folks have already made that case, so I see no point to add to it. My friend Jeff does a good job talking about some of them here. I can't and won't support him.

No Laptop, No Mobility, No Problem

If you'll recall, I ran over myself back in 2008. This left me in lots of pain and unable to do much of anything for a while. Not long after that, I was moving furniture, or helping my dad move my furniture, out of a storage building, and I got mad and bent over to pick up this desk by myself. As I wrote in that post, it felt like something snapped in my lower back and every "bend with your knees" poster I'd ever seen in every break room of every job I'd ever had flashed before my eyes. That left me in even more pain and even less able to move than before.

Every once in a while that back pain flares up. It seems to happen when I'm most stressed out. For example, last year it happened when my mom went into the hospital and earlier this year, it happened in the midst of all of the South Carolina work. Well, approximately two weeks ago, I woke up with a slight pain in my back, and I wanted to cry. It starts out with just a little soreness, like I slept funny or something, but if I don't start taking the medication my doctor prescribed, I'm screwed within another day or two. If you've never had a back spasm or had your back seize up, you haven't known pain. If you've never spent six hours on the floor because that happened every time you tried to stand up, you've never experienced despair. Unfortunately, that's the kind of stuff that this always leads to. It's just horrible.

By the Sunday before Thanksgiving, I was walking around in a 90 degree angle. I couldn't stand up straight. And I only had 5 pills left of my prescription. I tried to space them out, but that just led to them not working. That night, I was laid out on the sofa with Icy Hot caked all over my back, a heating pad underneath me, and my laptop in my lap. I decided it was time to try to transfer myself to my bedroom, but I didn't see that the laptop cord was caught on the little folding table I usually keep it on in my living room, and when I went to set it on the table, it didn't quite make contact. I went to grab it before it hit the floor, but the whole back thing made it impossible to move that fast, and in the end, the little part of the cord that plugs in to charge the laptop broke. I couldn't believe it.

I hurried before the battery died to do some of the work I needed to do for the week and email some files to myself as I had no idea how long it'd be before I could get a cord. Little did I know, it'd be almost two weeks before I had computer access again. The day after Thanksgiving, my mom drove me out to my ex-aunt's house to try an extra one she had, but it didn't work. I ordered one on Amazon, but it didn't work. Right now, as I type this, I've borrowed an old laptop from my aunt.

Anyway, I spent the days following the incident laying on the sofa, watching TV, and thanking God and Steve Jobs for the iPhone. I was in so much pain that I didn't really mind being computerless at first. However, I also couldn't drive (seriously, can't even turn my neck or the steering wheel), so leaving the house was pretty much out of the question too. As a matter of fact, outside of my grandfather's house for Thanksgiving and that trip to get a cord, I didn't leave the house for nearly 10 days. I bet you can imagine what I smelled like. (For what it's worth, you have to step up to get into my shower, and I tried that once and nearly broke my neck. At least the Icy Hot masked the stench of unwashedness.)

With it being Thanksgiving week, most of the people I knew were spending the week with their families, so there wasn't really anyone to talk to. And since I couldn't drive, I couldn't go anywhere. Basically, I watched more TV than any one person should, watched more movies than I knew existed (dreading my cable bill next month), and I played approximately 739 games of Battleship on my phone.

I have to say, it was almost nice not having contact with the outside world, even though not being able to work was annoying. It was nice not to check Facebook and Twitter and email every five minutes. Don't get me wrong, I still checked it a lot (AT&T even sent me a note about my increased data usage), but I just didn't feel the need to be so tune in with everything going on in the lives of everyone else. I actually got some things I'd been wanting to work on done. And I got pretty stir crazy, but it was nice to relax and not worry about much of anything. If I didn't need the laptop for work purposes, I probably could have been even more relaxed, but that's kind of out of the question with my career at the moment.

Another downside was that I was supposed to have the book finished by that Tuesday and that never happened. I even had people coming over for dinner and a reading, which I had to cancel. One night, I did get kind of lofty and pulled out a notebook and a pen. Within five minutes my hand was cramping up, and I could barely read a thing I wrote.

Oh, well. Enough about me. I am working on a post about Newt Gingrich (gag), but that will have to come next week. Today was all about the Dawgs and finally finishing the book! Tomorrow is all about cleaning and getting the house decorated for Christmas, and Monday is my rescheduled book reading gathering thing.

I'll try to post less rambling things in the future, but I just wanted to say I haven't dropped off the face of the earth; I was just forced to take a step back, and I kind of enjoyed it.