MTV, Kardashians & 13 Hours of Shepard Smith

So, yeah, I've more or less spent the weekend in front of the TV. This was not my ideal plan, but I had a ton of work to catch up on after dealing with busted water pipes and my mom's eye surgery last week, and well, there was the promise of a hurricane and 13 hours of Shepard Smith.

I'd like to stop right here and say that if I'm ever in a hurricane situation, I'd rather be in it with Southerners than New Yorkers. Holy crap. Freak out much, Yankee folk? Sure, everyone freaks out to some extent, but some of these media types I've witnessed throughout the weekend were a bit much. Just sayin'...

Anyway, I did enjoy the 13 (that's a rough estimate) hours of Shepard Smith, but when Fox News did away with the promise of a 14th hour, I found myself in quite a stitch. How on earth am I supposed to get anything done when there is nothing on TV?

I checked out Twitter and saw that the VMAs were on MTV. Ahh, the memories. That awards show used to be the end all, be all of award shows for my young teenage and even college-age self. I mean, people would actually gather to watch that stuff. All the talented musicians of the 90's got together and put on fun performances without the stuffiness and formality of the Grammys or, at least, what the Grammys were in those days. You'd talk about it for weeks after and the video tape on which you recorded it would become worn out within a month.

Oh, yeah. Time to change the channel.

First, I should admit that aside from a few episodes of that show where those trashy kids are pregnant and angry (and that was only because I was stuck in a hotel room in Columbia, South Carolina with a TV that got about two channels), I probably haven't even actually watched MTV since I was in college. (Well, there was this one time when my little cousin got me hooked on some show where these kids got on a bus and took turns going on dates or something.) But I was ready to embark on an adventure.

I flipped over and the first thing I saw was a commercial for The Real World 817 or something like that. OK, yeah, sure, the show is probably past its prime, but I remember The Real World. I remember Puck and the AIDS guy and sexy Eric Whatshisface who did those exercise videos.

This is pretty good.

Next, I watched as the Foo Fighters won an award. OK, yeah, I like Dave Grohl. I liked him better in Nirvana, but that's neither here nor there, and they beat out Mumford and Sons in whatever category the award was for. They're newish. I like them. I'm still doing OK with this.

Then I watched as Adele got up and began to sing, and I was good with that, too, because that girl is super-talented. I only know a few of her songs, but her voice is to die for. Yep, not much has changed at the old VMAs is what I decided at that point. Better yet, no one's gonna mistake me for an AARP member.

Then I realized it was 10:00, and I had to switch the channel. I may or may not spend many a Sunday evening watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I may or may not have spent the week anxiously waiting to see how the whole Kris/Kim/earring/Bora Bora situation turned out.
Don't judge me.

During a commercial, I flipped back over to MTV, just in time to see Prince Lady Gaga dressed as a man strut out onto the stage. I, for one, am kind of over the whole attempt at shock value from this particular person, but it is what it is. Then I realized she was there to give a tribute to Britney Spears, who was receiving, like, I don't know, some kind of lifetime achievement award. Now, Miss Spears and I are the same ageish, and this did not make me feel old. This made me feel like I just saw a bunch of talented folks like Adele, the Foo Fighters and Mumford and Sons and they're giving some kind of huge award to Britney Spears? What has she done in the last few years, aside from shave her head, become a headcase and spawn a few kids?

For the rest of the time, I switched back and forth between both shows and when the Kardshians were over, I went back to MTV full-time. This is when it really went downhill.

Russell Brand was there, supposedly giving some kind of tribute to the late Amy Winehouse, but because he's Russell Brand, he was mostly just saying stuff I couldn't understand and looking like a homeless person. Then, somehow, Tony Bennett appeared on stage, and I thought he was gonna sing. This is the kind of tribute to a dead person I can get behind. I'm not sure what happened next, but before I knew it, Tony Bennett was ushered from the stage and something worse than Russell Brand was taking over.

Bruno Mars.

Oh, how I loathe this individual and his so-called music. "I would catch a grenade for you??" Seriously, we could have found Bin Laden a LONG, LONG time ago if Bruno Mars were just a little bit older. Just play that crap through the deserts and streets of Pakistan and anyone in hiding would come running out with their hands raised high. I'm embarrassed I even know that much of his lyrics, which are some of the dumbest lyrics I've ever heard. Really, if a guy ever told me he'd catch a grenade for me, I'd call him a dumb fuck and walk away.

Anyway, after Bruno Mars there was Katy Perry (not a fan) and after that was Lil' Wayne, who, at almost 30 years old, should not call himself "Lil" anything. He had some issues keeping his pants on and his song was so full of foul language that I was sure Hurricane Irene was back and heading straight for Atlanta at the rate the sound cut in and out. Now, I realize I sound like somebody's white grandmother with that assessment, but let me just say, I love me some rap and hip-hop. Always have. Just today, I was listening to Outkast and Busta Rhymes between Shepard Smiths. But I actually like the rap and hip-hop artists who don't rely on autotune to get through a song, which means that with the exception of a few, the current crop of so-called rappers are just kind of, well, slightly more talented than Bruno Mars. I mean, hey, some of that music is good to work out to after all.

So, that's how the show ended, and just as I'm sitting there wondering where society went so wrong, some other show came on MTV. I was in the kitchen, so I couldn't change the channel, but I saw/heard about two minutes of it while I was moving about. Holy crap! Within those two minutes, the two lead characters had used about 50 sexual references. I am not at all a prude, but it's like they were having a contest to see who could jam the most sex-related words into one sentence.

Back in the day, when we first got cable, my BFF, Melissa, and I would wait until our parents went to bed, turn our TVs to MTV with the volume down as low as possible and sit right in front of the TV to watch Beavis and Butthead. That was the cutting edge programming of our time. But at least Beavis and Butthead was funny. At least it had a point. At least it wasn't just the product of some really bad writer's attempt to subliminally attract horny teenagers and potheads for the sake of ratings. I forgot what the show was called, but it was something like, Give Me Back My Pants. And I thought that pregnant teenager show was bad.

In the end, I came to the conclusion that maybe I am too old to enjoy MTV anymore. And if that's the case, then so be it. I had a lot more fun rocking out to Star 94's "90's Weekend" on my way to get some lunch today than I did listening to any one song at the VMAs.

Seriously, I saw very little of the show as a whole, and what I did see amounted to the largest group of untalented people gathered in one place that I've seen in a long time.

And I say that just moments after watching an hour-long Kardashian special.

Next time, I think I'll DVR Shepard Smith's 13-hour hurricane commentary and re-watch it or hope like hell it's already football season.

Or maybe I can start surfing for Murder She Wrote episodes. Isn't that what the olds watch these days?

There's a Hurricane a Comin'

So, unless you live under a rock (or on the West Coast or the Midwest or in a world where you don't watch overblown news coverage 24 hours a day), you know there is, well, to quote the late, great Sophia Petrillo, "a hurricane a comin'." I'm am not in any way wishing any harm on anyone, but I always get a rush of adrenaline when I hear about a hurricane. I can't quite put my finger on why, though. My lifelong desire to be a reporter always revolved around me picturing myself standing outside in 100 plus mile per hour winds and pouring rain, shouting back to the studio about evacuations and long lines at the grocery store. Don't ask; I was an only child.

There's also the fact that when a hurricane's a comin', I usually get extra Shepard Smith on my television. I've quit a job to stay home and watch this sort of thing before. (I'm sort of kidding.) Anyway, the ATL won't even see a drop of rain from Irene, so I'll be watching this sucker from afar.

(Though my landlord, also named Irene, was here all day fixing a water problem in my house. Not quite the same thing but as close as I'm gonna get.)

If you haven't already figured it out, I really don't have much to say. That's beginning to be a theme around here, so maybe I need to start blogging politics again. I'm sure I will as next year's election season gets a little closer. I just can't help myself.

I hope everyone has a good weekend, and if you are in the path of Hurricane Irene, stay safe. I'll be working all weekend. I don't mind, as it will free up some time next week for me to work on my book and some other fun projects. Sadly, I won't be covering evacuations in dangerous winds, but if you want to know about great local Labor Day sales and adoptable pets from the pound, I'm your girl!

Dogs & Soldiers

I used to joke that dogs and soldiers were the only things that made me cry. After watching Something Borrowed the other night, I'm extremely embarrassed to admit that this is not entirely true. (Hey, I was having a bad day!) Anyway, these have been going around, but if you haven't seen them, grab some tissues.

First, you have the funeral of Navy SEAL Jon Tumilson. Seeing an upset family member sitting near a coffin isn't an unusual occurrence, but here you see Tumilson's adorable, grief-stricken Lab, Hawkeye, watching over his best friend. Just watch the video. and tell me you don't shed a tear:




And for a little bit of a happier situation, check out what happens when a huge Great Dane named Emmitt Thunderpaws sees his military daddy come home from deployment:

Shepard Smith: The Only Man I Trust*

Back in January, when Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was shot, I was pretty shaken up. I realize many people were pretty shaken up - especially those who lost loved ones on that day - but it really just got to me more than anything had in a while. As I've posted, I liked Giffords because when I saw her interviewed for the first time, I had no idea if she was a Republican or Democrat. She seemed fair and even-tempered and exactly what anyone would want in a politician. She represented, to me, what this country is all about, even if I didn't agree with everything she said. So, when I found out that it was her who was shot while holding some sort of public forum for her constituents on a Saturday afternoon outside of a grocery store - picture perfect Americana - I felt sick, not just for Giffords and the other victims, but for my country. I won't compare it to September 11, but it was sort of the same feeling, the need to rally the troops and send whoever did this to my country straight to hell.

That day, I got home right after it happened. Of course, I kept my TV tuned to the 24-hour news channels and poured over a few favorite news websites to attempt to piece together some truth, but it wasn't until later that afternoon that I felt any sort of peace. Why, you ask?

On his day off, Shepard Smith came in to anchor the Fox News coverage of the shooting aftermath.

Here's where I'm going to sound a little kooky, but his presence was calming, and at that moment, I knew I need not look elsewhere for the truth I'd spent the afternoon searching the headlines for.

Now, I've been watching Smith for many years. Not as religiously as I do now, but I've always found him entertaining. On that day in January, however, I realized from that point on, when something big is going on in this country or anywhere in the world, I'd be turning my TV to Fox News. And if Smith ever moves to another network, I'll turn to him there, as well.

I really haven't felt this way about a news anchor since the days when I was a kid tuning into Peter Jennings and ABC every night. And then there’s Bob Schieffer, though I don't see as much of him as I'd like to anymore.

This may not seem important to many of you; it may even sound a little, well, crazy, but I take my news seriously and always have. It may be more disorder than hobby, but I like to know what's going on in the world.

So, why am I carrying on about this? In both real life and on the Twitter, I get a lot of flak for this opinion. Usually, it's from far-right/far-left political friends and acquaintances. "How do you watch that liberal freak?" or "Anyone who works for Faux News is a tool."

Good grief.

The truth of the matter is this: I don't give a flying f--k what Shepard Smith's political views are. He doesn't force them down my throat, and on the occasion that he does slip some opinion into his afternoon show, I am smart enough and mature enough to recognize that I do not have to agree or disagree with every single thing another smart, mature adult says.

Have I ever gotten annoyed at something he’s said? Sure. But I tune back in the next day because I know he’s the one of the few people on this earth who is going to clue me in on what’s going on in the world without any partisan bias. Have I seen him carry on about something he feels strongly about? Absolutely. But I’ve never seen him present the news in any sort of agenda-driven way.

I think people often mistake having an opinion for having an agenda. Journalists are human. All humans have opinions. It’s how they let those opinions affect their work that matters, and there have been very few times (seriously, I can only think of one or two) that I have seen Smith let his opinion affect his broadcast.

But I like that he’s human, too. Who wants to watch a robot read the news? I like that's he's not perfect, and I like that he makes mistakes. I like that he gets emotional when reporting the death of a child or a happy ending for a soldier, and I like that it appears to be genuine. I like that he makes jokes with guests and calls many stories like he sees them – like we all see them.

I also like that he recognizes the SEC as the greatest thing that has ever happened to football. But I digress…

Anyway, most of what I see online about Smith is some variation of the partisan crap I mentioned above or inane gossip and speculation about his private life, neither of which is relevant to what he does every day. As long as he keeps delivering the news in a way that informs me when no one else is telling the whole truth and comforts and reassures me when I’m uneasy, I’ll be watching.

*With the exception of my dad and grandfather
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Please note: I've been wanting to write this for a while, but just haven't had time. I wrote it in a hurry tonight (and in the midst of Benadryl bender), so it's probably not as well thought out as I would have liked (and i know it's full of errors), but you all get the point.

Because I have nothing better to post...

Awwwwwwww

"She's never seen a Republican before..."

My grandfather sent me this, and it made me laugh.

I'll take more candidates like this, Republican or Democrat.

The August Ed Helms Post

Don't worry, I'm not starting some sort of monthly post about Mr. Helms. I was just looking over some old posts from this summer and realized I have managed to sneak a Helmsesque one in each month for the last two months, and I couldn't think of a clever title.

Anyway, several months ago, the aforementioned Ed Helms was a guest on Marc Maron's WTF podcast. I bookmarked it with the intention of listening, but the amazing job assignment in South Carolina happened and the rest of my life got put on hold for a few months. Last night I found myself finding every way in the world to procrastinate working on my book, so I decided I might find some inspiration in listening to the podcast.

Wow. I'm so glad I did.

A friend of a friend who works in New York interviewed Helms back when Cedar Rapids hit theaters and the guy just carried on and on about what a nice, humble person he is. In listening to this interview, I walk away with the same opinion. I hate when people pretend to know someone they don't based on a few glimpses into their life, so I hope what I'm saying doesn't come across that way, but he just seems like a really cool dude, famous and ridiculously talented or not.

It's also a good interview because it's not just the typical "Were you surprised at the success of The Hangover" crap. I literally found myself laughing out loud a few times. (That's LOL for all of you youngins out there.) And it was neat to hear a little bit about Helms growing up in Atlanta. There is also a little live banjo music if you are into that sort of thing.

Even my dad listened to parts of it today (when he was not telling me I have the journalistic integrity of Rupert Murdoch, but that's a story for another day), but I think he was mostly just fascinated that Helms's father worked for Andrew Young and is a "pretty progressive democrat." (I'm telling you, it's not your typical "was it sad when Steve Carell left The Office" kind of interview.)

Anyway, give it a listen. It'll be good for you. Then go put Cedar Rapids on your queue or rent it or buy it and enjoy. You won't regret either unless you just hate comedy and hilarious people.

When did people get to be so rude?

So, remember last week when I decided I was going to cut back on my internet time? It took a little will at first, but I managed to do it. The biggest help was shutting down my laptop when I'm finished working at the end of the day and only using my iPhone to check email or news websites.

And then Saturday, the ATL suffered another set of awful storms, and my wireless internet device thingy got struck by lightning. I'll admit, it made for a boring Saturday. Between not having a car and not having internet, I felt as if I'd been cut off from the outside world.

Sunday, I slept pretty late and then got up and got ready to head to a birthday party, and I stayed there for a few hours before coming home to what I thought would be another boring evening (though I did borrow one of my grandfather's cars again, so at least I had that going for me). Instead, I pulled out my laptop and pulled up the book I'm working on and finished two and half chapters, plus revamped some of the plot. In other words, I got a lot done.

By the time I went to bed, I realized that not having internet had worked to my advantage. I didn't feel compelled to check Twitter/Facebook/email every five seconds. I didn't feel the need to read needless blogs about other people's lives or read nasty comments that people had left on an article or story written by me or a friend. Sure, it would have been helpful for the sake of research for the book, but if I needed to know something badly enough, I just looked it up on my phone or left a blank space with a note about what I needed to look up. In a way, I felt free, and if I didn't need it back today for work purposes, I probably would have just put off my trip to the cable company to get a new modem for a few days.

Anyway, in my continuing effort to rid my life of pointless crap, I've decided I'm taking my "no pointless crap" decision to a new level.

Tell me if this gets on your nerves as much as it does mine: you send someone a text or email about something rather important. Maybe it's to confirm what time you're supposed to meet them somewhere or even a professional question for your boss or a co-worker. They not only don't respond in a timely manner, but much of the time they don't respond at all. Then, two weeks later, after ignoring about three correspondences from you, they send you some sweet little text or email because they want or need something.

I understand, people get busy. People forget things. Hey, I'm not trying be holier than thou; I've got emails that have sat in my inbox since April (though I do try to contact those people and let them know I'm super busy, and I do try to answer important questions if I can't the entire email when I read it). And there are some times when I do want to just shut off all forms of communication with the outside world for a night or a few hours, and unless you're my mother or the President or Ed Helms (and let's face it, only one of those three ever call me), I ain't gonna talk to you anyway. But if I know you have a specific question and aren't just texting to say "hello," I'll get back to you in a timely manner.

Anyway, I hate to seem like some kind of people-hater, but I'm just so sick and tired of this sort of thing lately. It's like all of the technology in our lives has give people an excuse to be lazy about communication. There are a few people who I hesitate before I contact anymore, because I know that nine times out of ten, they won't respond. And you can bet your sweet ass that not a week later, those same people are going to come crying to me because they need advice or a favor or something more. Furthermore, it's made me more impatient with people who do have the respect and courtesy to respond, and I don't like that at all.

I'm sorry that I have higher expectations of my friends and acquaintances, my professional contacts and even some of my family members. I think the next step in simplifying my life is to cut back on being so readily available to these particular people.

Does that make me a bad person?