November 27, 2010

Loud Noises & Conspiracy Theories

Like most anyone, I love a good conspiracy theory. Even if they often scare the crap out of me. Okay, true, most things scare the crap out of me but not the point.

I have a large bar separating my kitchen and living room, and in the midst of running here and there, it often becomes a catch-all for anything you can think of, because I am generally running late. Last night, as I was trying to remember what color it is, I decided it might be a good idea to clean it off and had gathered an armload of brushes, combs, hair products, vitamins, medication, and other toiletries that needed to be returned to my bathroom.

I walked down the hall and into the bathroom, deposited the stuff on the bathroom counter for a future cleaning project, and started to peer into the little make up mirror I keep on the windowsill, because it's perfectly normal to worry about what what you look like at 9:30PM on a Friday night when you are sitting at home, when all of the sudden I heard a noise.

A loud noise.

At first, I thought it was thunder, but it didn't last long enough to be thunder. I looked outside to see if anything had exploded or if any trees had fallen on my car or something. I ended up calling my mom, who lives about half a mile from me, and asking if she'd heard it. She confirmed she'd heard a noise but didn't know what it was. Her first thought had been thunder too. Apparently, my aunt who lives about four miles south of here heard it too.

I didn't think much more about it until this morning, when I dropped by my parents' house to get something, and my mom pointed out that the noise had made the local news, and apparently, the reporters and local officials are at a loss as to what it was.

Or are they just trying to keep it one big secret?

I Googled it tonight just to see if anyone was talking and found that the "mystery blast" has made its way to a number of conspiracy theory websites. From secret missions to North Korea and exploding meth labs to sonic booms and one guy's toilet experience after eating too much Taco Bell, there are lots of possible explanations. And of course there is the occasional idiot with the aliens/government spy program/Armageddon theory. I do not believe in such things, but I did just lock all of my doors. Just in case. I mean, you can never be too careful.

Some say they saw cops and fire trucks combing the streets after it occurred. Unfortunately, living in the unabomber cabin puts me at a disadvantage when it comes to trying to see what's going on in the rest of the world, or at least on my street. The most common explanation seems to be something airplane related, but nothing specific has been reported, and many are claiming something like that wouldn't be heard over the span of at least three or four counties.

Anyway, in about fifteen minutes, it will be exactly 24 hours since the "mystery blast" occurred. Will we hear it again? Was it a one time thing? Will it be louder or accompanied by aliens and/or secret service? I guess you'll just have to tune in tomorrow to find out. Unless you live within a 30 to 40-mile radius of me, and in that case, you'll probably already know, but whatever.

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