9 Crimes & Tom Waits & Keith Richards

For some reason, I love this song lately:



and this one:



and I'm trying to come up with a top 10 list. I decided to do NOTHING this weekend and rest up for the big trial run at "the job" on Monday and now I'm just plain bored.

Quote of the Day 5/31/08 School's out for the summer...

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.” - W. C. Fields

Today was the last day of school in my little district which I guess means my adventures in teaching are officially over. I'll miss the little kiddies...probably a lot more after a few months of working with a bunch of cops.

Actually, I'm thinking about trying to work in a few days a month or something on top of "the job" (assuming I get it). Not many people can say they have TWO government jobs.

I think I'm going to work on a top 10 list now...I've been wanting to. Or maybe tomorrow because I swam more than any human should today and am too tired to think straight.

Quote of the Day 5/26/08 - Memorial Day

"Today is the day we put aside to remember fallen heroes and to pray that no heroes will ever have to die for us again. It's a day of thanks for the valor of others, a day to remember the splendor of America and those of her children who rest in this cemetery and others. It's a day to be with the family and remember." - Ronald Reagan at Arlington, Memorial Day 1986

Laura Ingalls Wilder I am not...

Coming up on day four of my life with very little computer access. You know how I say only two things make me cry? I've found a third.

Bloody Hell.

Quote of the Day 5/21/08

I wasn't going to have a QOTD today but yesterday I e-mailed Jessica, a good friend of mine who is in Kentucky for the moment while her husband goes to grad school and asked (jokingly) if she voted for Obams or Hills. Her response:

"I voted for both. Here in Kentucky, each opponent has a box, and you put a rock in the one you want- I took an extra rock in my pocket..."

Quote of the Day 5/19/08 - You lost me at "can't"

"We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times ... and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK." - Barack Obama

I hate to stay on Obama but when you start throwing out lines like that, you completely lose my interest. I just walked in the door, have been sitting here a total of two minutes listening to some random Obama speech and I have counted ten plus times he's said "George Bush." That's going to get old quick and quite frankly, I'm disappointed. That's all they have? Really? I was excited about a whole new election that had nothing to do with the past (on both sides)...you know, "change" and all that. Isn't this supposed to be the "anti-candidate?"

Are people really so gullible?


That sticker is still on my car by the way and I hate bumper stickers. I'm making a statement. To whom, I don't know.

Update: Due to the overwhelming popularity of this post, um, check out Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld @ 3:00 AM on the Fox News Channel for excellent news and political humor.

Quote of the Day 5/17/08 Sweetie

"That's because it didn't have to do with bath oils or shoes, so she wouldn't of understood the answer anyway." - Andy Levy (on why Obams didn't answer the "sweetie" reporter's question)

(quote from Thurs. night/Fri. morning's "Halftime Report" from Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld which was funny as hell...and probably the gayest yet sexiest three minutes in television this week. Watch it! Click the links!)

I didn't really have a quote for today and I was going to say something about the "sweetie" incident earlier in the week. Plus I realized it's been a whole 24 days since I quoted Andy Levy which has got to be some sort of record. Which by the way, if you missed the "Red Eye" guys on the radio with Alan Colmes, you probably had a much more exciting Friday night than I did. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, it was good stuff...I worked out while I listened and burned more calories from laughing.

I actually thought about this "sweetie" thing for a while when I saw the video (above), wondering if I should find it patronizing, even if just for the sake of pure partisanship (hey, I still have issues with the loss of George Allen...and had it been McCain, look out). And the truth of the matter is, there have been many things the man has said that I find offensive, but that's not one of them. A change of the tone of voice or something and maybe it could have been. Could he have handled it better, yes, but as much as I'd like it to be some telling moment, it's not.

I think I've made it clear I am not one of those feminazi, man-hating types but at the same time I truly appreciate the Margaret Thatcher's and the Condoleezza Rice's of the world. I think I've also made it very clear I don't care for an Obama for president. Mostly 'cause I think he's a Muslim...I'm kidding. But I will say this, the man is dreamy. And if he called me "sweetie" like that, I wouldn't complain...I'd probably wet myself or something, but I wouldn't complain and I still wouldn't vote for him.

Quote of the Day 5/16/08 - A little smug in your step...

“Conceit spoils the finest genius. There is not much danger that real talent or goodness will be overlooked long; even if it is, the consciousness of possessing and using it well should satisfy one, and the great charm of all power is modesty." - Louisa May Alcott

Obams said he wished to debate President McCain on foreign policy.

Here's how the debate would go:

Pres. McCain: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah" <-- (smart words about foreign policy that stem from a long career of military and political experience)

Obama: "George Bush, George Bush, George Bush."

The more Obama talks (and he's done a lot of talking today), the more I realize he may be his own number one fan, which is quite the accomplishment when you are him.
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In other smug liberal news: I had to turn "The Daily Show" off last night because Jon Stewart took his smugness to a level I could not tolerate which is nothing new. He does this from time to time and I simply turn off the TV. No biggie, but last night's show made me realize this will be the next six months once Hillary is out. Agenda will replace substance. Can't we just be funny without being obnoxious? It is possible to do political humor without taking yourself seriously and slipping into some self-righteous tirade that doesn't even resemble a joke (See: Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld for details). I've been enjoying "The Daily Show" since it came back from the strike. Bummer.
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In me news: No OH at the funeral. Perhaps he was out looking for his 5th wife. I'm really not sure why that's not the huge turn-off it should be to me. Anyway, I didn't actually go to the funeral to meet men...I'm not that bad, geez. I went to network!! I'm kidding. (The daughter of the deceased is one of my potential bosses.) Actually, the only thing I gained (because you know it's all about me), is the knowledge that it is officially too hot for layers (particularly when one layer is a sweater - sweating like a pig) and that I should think about how much I'm going to be standing at a place before I throw on some three-inch heels.

edited 6:27 PM: Changed the quote...again...it went from Obama to McCain advisor to Thom Yorke to Louisa May Alcott. Go figure.

Quote of the Day 5/15/08 - Come on, Johnny Mac!

"I will not permit eight long years to pass without serious action on serious challenges. I will not accept the same dead-end of failed diplomacy that claimed Kyoto.” - President John McCain.

The same President John McCain that voted AGAINST Kyoto. When they told him to appeal to the base of the party, I think don't think he realized which party they meant. Or maybe he's getting this out of his system while Hills and Obams are still going at it...like a third option for the left? Yeah, that's it. (Note: You can buy all kinds of "Go Green" items at the Johnny Mac store! See how you can't tell if I'm for or against this?)

Moving on, I figured out about the Alan Colmes radio thing. All of the "Red Eye" guys,Greg Gutfeld, Bill Schulz, and Andy Levy will be on the show, Friday 5/16 @ 11:00 PM! As I said before, even if you don't like Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld check it out if you can... (I think you can listen to it live if you click the first link...if you are in the ATL, it's on some really high number on your AM dial.)

Well, now I have to go get ready for a funeral for someone I barely know, so I wanted to get that out of the way. Fun stuff. At least I get to try my new hair product...and there's the small possibility that one tall, bald, 45 year old, divorced four times OH could be there. I'm not holding my breath though. (Yes, really four times.)

Quote of the Day 5/14/08 - thanks

"We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude." - Cynthia Ozick

I don't know, I was in kind of a bad mood about something and I started thinking about someone I know of who was (who may still be?) in our military. One thing led to another and my bad mood kind of became unimportant.

Anyway, I think I'm caught up now.

Quote of the Day 5/13/08 - Wilson Mizner

"I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at." - Wilson Mizner

Not what I was going for but it's true. Very, very true.

Oh well, off to spend another Tuesday night parked in front of primary coverage. Actually, I've been watching the "live streaming" on FOXNews.com. Much more interesting than the actual channel stuff.

Speaking of Fox News, the GC just called to tell me about his first day o' work and told me he heard that Greg Gutfeld is going to be on Alan Colmes' radio show this week at some point. So I guess listen out for that? I'll see what I can figure out. Even if you don't like Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld, try to check it out. When he, Bill Schulz, and Andy Levy filled in for Dennis Miller, it was awesome, and I know I carry on about it but I say that as genuinely as possible!

OK, now I gotta go figure out what the hell Hillary is talking about...she's gone from pandering with a Bible reference to talking about running against John McCain like she's the nom?

P.S. Still nothing definite about the job but I am still hopeful as I have been told I am the top candidate at this point.

Quote of the Day 5/12/08 - Fuzzy Math

"Over the last 15 months, we’ve traveled to every corner of the United States. I’ve now been in 57 states? I think one left to go." - Barack Obama

I was going to post something profound about life but I couldn't let this one slip by. I guess we're finally getting to the heart of the "change."

Back to waiting for the phone to ring.

Quote of the Day 5/11/08 Happy Mother's Day! (have a tornado)

"Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, 'Why me?' Then a voice answers 'Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.'" - Charlie Brown

I planned to pick something Mother's Day-ish but in a way this is because my mom loves Charlie Brown. Anyway, Happy Mother's Day, if you are one.

OK, so remember how I said I was going to relax this weekend? Last night, I watched the race and did a few things and around 1:30 AM or so I decided to go to bed. I got ready, came back in the living room to get my phone and do one last check of my e-mail and the tornado warning (not watch) sirens start going off. I knew we were supposed to get nasty weather but it wasn't supposed to happen for a few hours and of course I was not going to go to bed mid-tornado warning. I sat up until about 3:45 AM, nothing happened...but I should have stayed awake.

Around 4:20 AM, they go off again, this time it's for real. I don't care how prepared you are for those damn sirens, waking up to them is the most horrible feeling in the world. I'm not really scared of weather-related things but I was shivering and shaking like it was the middle of January instead of May. I mean, I kept piling on layers of clothing and just couldn't get warm. Because of the sirens, not the weather!

Anyway, I got up, (my TV was already on) and the local news folks are cutting in, telling the good people of my city to seek shelter immediately. (I didn't, I went to open my window and watch.) For the I don't know, I've lost count time this year, it did cut right through my little county but the actual tornado touch-down was just south of me. I have a few limbs down and my laundry room in the basement had a tiny bit of flooding (due to the wind blowing the rain sideways under the door) but the people south of me got it really bad. There were trees and power lines down everywhere.

Of course my mom ended up calling me to tell me every single thing that every single member of our family was doing this dramatic night and I knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep any time soon, so I gave up all thoughts of not doing anything remotely related to the job and started listening to the police scanner. I think I finally went to bed around 7:00 AM...only for the GC to wake me up a few hours later to tell me he got a job at Borders. (Yay discount!)

And I'm not sure if it was the adrenaline or what, but after I finally went to sleep, I had a dream I was going to the Middle East to "make peace" Jimmy Carter style. I mean, WHO DREAMS CRAP LIKE THAT? The best part of it was that the people of Israel would only talk in musical numbers. Upon my arrival, I was greeted in the street by about 100 singing, dancing Jews! Seriously!

Quote of the Day 5/10/08

“When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.” - Mark Twain

I could probably just quote Mark Twain and be happy...well, and maybe Reagan. And Emily Dickinson and Lucille Ball. And Andy Levy and... okay you get the point, I have my favorites. That's sort of like one of those "people you'd have to a dinner party" kind of lists. Hmmm...

I wasn't going to post my "good news" yet because I don't want to jump the gun and well, I'm extremely paranoid and superstitious. So...

I'll just say I went on a little "shopping like I'm already hired" spree yesterday. I bought this Robert Altman movie I've been looking everywhere for, some fancy new hair products to try, and several books...Dancing Under the Red Star - about some Amer. chick who lived under Stalin, Illuminatus Trilogy, What the Dead Know, a book called Certain Girls (I know - it's a weakness), and something else I can't remember...

Now I'm gonna go before I inundate you with more fascinating information about my shopping habits.

update 11:10 PM: Now that I've read she just had cancer, I feel bad even saying this but if any of you know who Jeanne Zelasko is, do you not find her to be the most annoying person in the world? I just can't watch her.

Hmmm, remember how the week before last I, here on this blog, declared myself an expert at the fantasy Nascar? Perhaps that was a bit premature. And you know how last week I was all Best race ever!? Now that my have been true. I didn't like this one. Though I'm loving me some Kyle Busch...and I think I've picked him every week since I started this stuff.

Oh well, back to my tornado watch! My plan for this weekend was to relax and not think about "the job" but so far, that's pretty much all I've done...so that's my excuse for these pointless updates! Just thinking about it makes me nervous...but very, very excited. It's like an adrenaline rush...very strange.

Getting the Job Part 2/Dating is overrated/Donna Tartt

Getting the job part 2:


So, I went to take the test today (not the polygraph) and it was actually a lot more stressful and involved than I'd thought it would be. I think I did OK but there was part I didn't realize was timed. More importantly, I was having a fabulous hair day.


So now to the "Dating is overrated" part:


I don't really feel like explaining this now, so I'm going to make a short list of things that annoy me:

1. The formalities of dating...

2. When a guy acts all giddy and goofy and fawns over a girl...I'm not saying I like to be slapped around - at least not in public - but girls who are into that are usually kind of more into themselves than they are any guy anyway...

3. When you really want to call and/or e-mail someone but you aren't sure if you should because you don't want to be annoying.

4. I should note these were not brought on by any one incident...and are probably the reason the only dates I have right now are Brit Hume and a diet coke.

Donna Tartt:

So, I finally read the whole two books this woman wrote and all I can says is WHY HAS SHE ONLY WRITTEN TWO BOOKS? Despite the universe working against me, I finished "The Secret History" today and I was left wanting more though I just read that it's being made into a movie? And "The Little Friend," I read that a good while ago and I so wanted to add it to my favorite books list when I was finished. My point, I recommend them both...to the bookstore with all of you!

update: The problem with reading really great books is that when you are done, it's hard to find something else that you can get that involved with. In in the case of the aforementioned Ms. Tartt and her talent for character development, you feel like you've lost your best friends. Or maybe that's just me.

Yay! Polygraph Tests!

Question - have any of you ever had to take a polygraph test? I know that's quite an odd question, but it looks like I'm going to have to do that for this job at some point.

Anyway, it looks like getting this job is going to be a LONG drawn out process. I had to go up there for my first "interview/test" today and not to toot my own horn, but they seemed very impressed. I go back tomorrow for a second one. I'm really excited though...I was so nervous that I was making a really wrong decision but after being there, I felt pretty good about it. Heck, with that kind of salary, I can feel good about anything!

I doubt I'll update for a while with any real news (as long as this is going on) so, I'll leave the Red Eye post at the top...

I wanted to add thanks for all of the birthday cards, e-mails, and presents I've gotten this weekend!

Quote of the Day 5/4/08 - Sunday afternoon baseball

"Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all holes, or games, are created equal." - George Will

I always say there is no better feeling in the world (aside from maybe actually being there) than lazying around and watching a Sunday afternoon baseball game. Which is how I intend to spend today. Glavine on the mound and what do you know, Ron Gant is announcing today...probably the two players I enjoyed most as a kid. It don't get much better than that!

And now for those of you who harass me, I will change my profile to reflect my current age...and other things.

Quote of the Day - 5/2/08 - Fox News Everything

I was trying to decide between a few things and I couldn't really pick just one quote from those things, so we'll just do this:

1. READ THIS: Orange County Weekly - Why Southern Hip-Hop Is the Same as FOX News (This Ben Westhoff guy is my new hero... just the very fact that he linked the two...well, I thought only I could make far-out associations like that. I just found this really amusing.)

edited 5/2/08- come on, I can't be the only one who appreciates that article!!

2. WATCH THIS: FOXNews.com. (I was going to go with what has become my weekly Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld quote and I haven't watched last night's show yet but I did just watch Andy Levy's halftime report - click the link above - and I swear I just sat and giggled. No, really. Anyway, I wanted to use the quote about Dick Morris after my "10 things I'm pondering" from a few days ago, but the set-up for the quote would have been way too much...just as this explanation is getting to be way too much. Just click the damn link and know you will not find three funnier people on TV than Greg Gutfeld, Bill Schulz, and Andy Levy.)

And now I'm going to watch Lil Bush. And American Idol. And other popular search terms that lead people to my blog.

Quote of the Day 5/1/08 KBH for VP

"One of the great mistakes is to judge policies and programs by their intentions rather than their results." - Milton Friedman

When I'm not making a complete fool of myself while applying for jobs I really want, I'm secretly campaigning for a Kay Bailey Hutchison for Vice President.

I guess KBH called in to talk to Rush yesterday. She also wrote this: Undoing America's Ethanol Mistake. Hmmm...